Let's take a moment to reflect on the fact that 21 years later, he looks EXACTLY the same. I've heard a lot of positive things about Harvard & Stone lately so I'd been wanting to check it out for a while. I heard that it was a bit "hipster" but people say that about half the places in LA so I figured it was just like any other somewhat trendy bar in Hollywood.
I was absolutely not prepared for what I would find when I walked into H&S. My blonde bestie and I were dying to go out and do something fun because we had spent the last 2 weeks doing, well absolutely nothing. Hey, sometimes you just want to sit on your couch and watch two Will Smith movies in a row, while you cuddle your dog and bawl your eyes out. (If you watched "I Am Legend" and did not cry when he had to kill his dog Sam, the only companion he had left in the entire world, then you are dead inside. AND if that incredible bond he and his son had in "The Pursuit of Happyness didn't make you choke up, then you have serious problems. No one likes an ice queen - or king.) As we walked through the doors I was first overwhelmed by the smell. My eyes bugged out of my head and I immediately looked at my friend and said, "This place smells like hipsters." I should clarify - I don't actually know what a hipster smells like, because I never come into contact with them - but if I had to guess what hipsters smell like, it would be this. It smelled kind of rusty. Not like vintage, it smelled old and rusty. Which is unfortunate for them, but I don't think they mind very much. Once you get past the overwhelming scent, it gets a lot better, I promise.
It's kind of hard to describe the interior of Harvard & Stone. But I can say, it's pretty neat. I know, I know, your imagination is swirling about with the all possibilities that are "neat." I'm so helpful sometimes. It almost looks like a vintage warehouse. There are 2 floors and about 5 or 6 different rooms. The decor is odd because it literally looks like they picked up lamps and couches that were left on the side of the street with a "FREE" sign on them. But they totally made it work for them. It's hipster grungy and it works. I don't know how these hipsters do it.
Speaking of hipsters, I just have to ask: How did that even happen?!?! Like when did hipsters become a thing, let alone a trendy thing? I feel like all the art majors who are total outcasts and have no people or social skills got together and were like "My fellow bohemians, we have gathered here today, in this dimly lit abandoned art studio, where Van Gogh painted Starry Night and subsequently cut off his ear *takes a moment of silence, in honor, and stares at the wall splattered with Van Gogh's blood* for one reason: RESPECT. We are tired of being looked at as vagabonds who wander through life looking for inspiration. From now on we shall be recognized as the leaders of the new generation. We will show the world how interesting and mysterious we truly are. No longer will we be looked down upon for wearing beanies, over-sized hats, skinny jeans, and glasses with no lenses in them. That's right. We will make wearing only the frames desirable. But we must continue to stay a recluse group, socializing with only each other, and others like us. Soon we will be internationally recognized by one word: HIPSTERS." Whew. I'm really sorry, but I've been dying to get that out in the open. I just don't understand hipsters and never will. But I feel so much better about it now. Okay, back to Harvard & Stone....
If you're not a fan of current music, or even hearing the same 5 songs in every club, lounge or bar, then you'll be pleased with Harvard & Stone. They play old school music. Songs from the 60s and shit. But it's fun to dance to and people really get down. I saw one guy dancing and the only way I can describe it is he danced exactly how I would imagine Harry Potter would dance if he had a few too many Butterbeers and really started to let loose. Glasses and Gryffindor polo shirt included. There is also a DJ every night at H&S. The DJ on the night we went was none other than Mr. Hyde himself. I'm talking about "That 70s Show" Hyde. I used to watch that show regularly, so it's just kind of cool to see someone like that right in front of you. Not in like a "OH MY GOD HYDE I LOVE YOU LET ME LICK YOUR FACE" kind of way. It's a little bit surreal to see him right in front of you. We didn't bother him or take a picture with him, because we really didn't care that much. The weird thing about LA is that "celebrities" or people who are well known, really don't get hassled at all. I mean, someone might ask them for a quick picture or something, but that's pretty much it. You might think that they'd have people following or stalking them, but that's not the case. I think it's because they are everywhere so it's not as exciting when it does happen. I also think a lot of people are afraid of looking uncool if they ask for a picture and that's just social suicide. Instead they tend to mingle around them, hoping to get a chance to talk with them for 3 minutes. When they do talk to them, they act like they just met the Queen of England or are best friends with President Obama and you should be very jealous of them. Because they are just so damn cool. These are the kind of people I want to hit in the face. Stop acting like you're the shit, ok? In reality you look like a lame, wannabe. Now me, on the other hand. If something happens to me, I don't give a rats ass if I look like a loser. If I'm excited, I'm telling everyone. When I met Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale at my work, I spent the rest of the night running around freaking out like I've just been selected to play Plinko on The Price Is Right....and won. Sometimes I even cry. I see nothing wrong with having emotions and expressing them. I'd rather be a human than a Hollywood robot.
We went to the bar and each ordered a Long Island. We decided since the drink prices were pretty steep, we better make it count. We're not made of money you know. I almost had a mini heart attack when the bartender brought us our drinks and said "That will be 48 dollars." I looked at my friend and said "I know we did not each order a drink that is $24. He can take that shit back, I am not paying for that." The music is super loud at H&S so I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly. I looked at the bartender and said "$48?" He said, "No, $28." I was still hyperventilating a bit from the $48 incident and said "$28 each?!" He leaned in closer and said, "No. $28 total, $14 each." I breathed a sigh of relief and looked at my friend, who was also uneasy about the situation and told her it was $14 each, which is slightly annoying for a stupid drink. I was elated I didn't order a $24 drink so we paid the man and left. As we left this cute blonde guy asked my friend "What is that?" and pointed to her drink. She leaned in and said "It's a Long Island." He said "Did you just whisper at me?" We laughed and walked away. Oh and it turns out that cute blonde guy is the same guy who played the oldest brother on Malcolm In The Middle. When texting a friend later, she informed me that he and Hyde are brothers in real life. I can't remember their real names. Hang on...Danny and Chris Masterson. God Bless Google. Moving on.
We walked around and laughed the at the fact that the place was crawling with hipsters. I had never been there so I decided to play it safe with my outfit, wearing a black sheer tank top, skinny jeans and boots. My friend also wore all black. We did not plan this, I swear. (When we were walking in she said "I hope people don't look at us weird, because we're matching." I reassured her, "Don't worry. We'll just tell them we came straight from a funeral." "Yeah, we're just blowing off some steam throwing 'em back" she said. That's our story and we're sticking to it. Who said blondes aren't smart.) I was just happy we didn't stick out like 2 blonde Barbie's. Of course the hipsters took it to the extreme with their outfits, which we made fun of the entire night. I fucking live for that shit. After realizing there was no escaping the hipsters, my friend says with a mischievous look on her face "Let's find the most hipster person in this bar and take a picture with him!" "OH HELL YES!" I exclaimed excitedly. You can see why we are such good friends. We scoured all the rooms until we found "the one." Neither of us had to say a thing. We just knew. He was the epitome of a hipster. He may have even been the founder. A guy standing nearby started talking to us and we told him our game, and how we had just found the winner. He laughed and said, "I'll go get him." He brings Mr. Hipster over to us. "I like your hat!" I blurt out, because I didn't want him to feel awkward, but I'm pretty sure I just made the situation worse. I tend to do that. I can't help it, I'm Gilly. (Note: My friend told me I remind her of Gilly from SNL. They way I dance, move and often act. After fighting it, I have come to terms with it, because she's right. I had a Gilly moment earlier that night when I took a sip of my Long Island and damn near choked and spit it out because it's was so potent. If you know Gilly, imagine her taking a sip of tequila for the first time, then imagine what her face would look like and I give you my face.) Anyways, we took our picture with King Hipster, thanked him and ran away. We later went back to the bar and were debating on what to order. Then I felt a strong presence to the right of me. I look and see a group of guys. My friend leans over and says "These nerds are prying hard." I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard. She was right. They were closing in. Then they attached themselves to us, without asking permission. Not physically, but they may as well have. They kindly bought us a drink then we noticed we all noticed this guy directly across the bar from us. One of the nerds, I mean guys said, "You guys, that's the kid from The Sandlot!" "I KNEW IT!" I screamed. I had saw this chubby, redheaded kid earlier and knew I'd seen him in a couple movies but couldn't for the life of me figure out which one. Which is embarrassing because "The Sandlot" was one of my favorite movies as a child. I own it on DVD to this day. Amateur move Colleen. "We are totally getting a picture with him! Let's go!" I grab my friend and we walk towards him. One of the guys followed and offered to take our picture. "Perfect" I thought. "We don't have to do anything. We will stand here, the guy will ask the red headed kid if we can take a picture with him. We don't have to do shit. I like this." And that is exactly what happened. The redheaded kid AKA "Ham" or "Hamilton" in the movie, said he'd take a picture with us. He walked over to us, we took our picture, said thank you then ran away. "Why was he wearing a backpack?" I asked my friend. We came up empty handed with reasons why anyone would bring or wear a backpack to a bar. It's probably some weird actor thing.
We talked to the nerd-my bad, the guys- some more. Then one of them asks me, "So do you guys want to go to Jumbo's with us?" "Jumbo's Clown Room?!" I yelled. "Yeah! We're heading over there, you should come with us." I sternly told him "Jumbo's Clown Room is the worst. It is the lowest of all the strip clubs. I once witnessed a larger Gothic girl do unmentionable things to her glove, with a ball gag in her mouth, all the while not taking her eyes off my friend. It was incredibly uncomfortable. That was the first and the last time I will ever step foot in Jumbo's Clown Room." Even after this reasonable explanation, this guy did not understand why 2 normal girls didn't want to go to a dirty strip club. [I feel the need to say the first (and only time) I went to Jumbo's was with 3 of my best friends for a girls night out. I was extremely curious - don't act like you wouldn't want to find out what the hell goes on in a place called JUMBO'S CLOWN ROOM. Curiosity definitely killed this cat.] To all the guys of the world: If you're trying to impress girls or a girl, do not invite them to a grungy, dirty-ass strip club. I would be more inclined to hang out with someone again if they invited me to McDonald's. Fries are the way to my heart. I can tell you that I will indeed be going back to Harvard & Stone. It's the kind of place great stories are made of. In closing, I'd like to share with you a few things I learned that night: 1) I will never go into a single bar from now on, without playing "Who's the most hipster of them all?" My life is forever changed. 2) If you see someone you feel the urge to take a picture with them, in my case Ham, do it. Don't worry about what da hipsters think about you. 3) Never ever accept an invitation from a stranger to Jumbo's Clown Room. You know what, just never go to Jumbo's Clown Room.
I was absolutely not prepared for what I would find when I walked into H&S. My blonde bestie and I were dying to go out and do something fun because we had spent the last 2 weeks doing, well absolutely nothing. Hey, sometimes you just want to sit on your couch and watch two Will Smith movies in a row, while you cuddle your dog and bawl your eyes out. (If you watched "I Am Legend" and did not cry when he had to kill his dog Sam, the only companion he had left in the entire world, then you are dead inside. AND if that incredible bond he and his son had in "The Pursuit of Happyness didn't make you choke up, then you have serious problems. No one likes an ice queen - or king.) As we walked through the doors I was first overwhelmed by the smell. My eyes bugged out of my head and I immediately looked at my friend and said, "This place smells like hipsters." I should clarify - I don't actually know what a hipster smells like, because I never come into contact with them - but if I had to guess what hipsters smell like, it would be this. It smelled kind of rusty. Not like vintage, it smelled old and rusty. Which is unfortunate for them, but I don't think they mind very much. Once you get past the overwhelming scent, it gets a lot better, I promise.
It's kind of hard to describe the interior of Harvard & Stone. But I can say, it's pretty neat. I know, I know, your imagination is swirling about with the all possibilities that are "neat." I'm so helpful sometimes. It almost looks like a vintage warehouse. There are 2 floors and about 5 or 6 different rooms. The decor is odd because it literally looks like they picked up lamps and couches that were left on the side of the street with a "FREE" sign on them. But they totally made it work for them. It's hipster grungy and it works. I don't know how these hipsters do it.
Speaking of hipsters, I just have to ask: How did that even happen?!?! Like when did hipsters become a thing, let alone a trendy thing? I feel like all the art majors who are total outcasts and have no people or social skills got together and were like "My fellow bohemians, we have gathered here today, in this dimly lit abandoned art studio, where Van Gogh painted Starry Night and subsequently cut off his ear *takes a moment of silence, in honor, and stares at the wall splattered with Van Gogh's blood* for one reason: RESPECT. We are tired of being looked at as vagabonds who wander through life looking for inspiration. From now on we shall be recognized as the leaders of the new generation. We will show the world how interesting and mysterious we truly are. No longer will we be looked down upon for wearing beanies, over-sized hats, skinny jeans, and glasses with no lenses in them. That's right. We will make wearing only the frames desirable. But we must continue to stay a recluse group, socializing with only each other, and others like us. Soon we will be internationally recognized by one word: HIPSTERS." Whew. I'm really sorry, but I've been dying to get that out in the open. I just don't understand hipsters and never will. But I feel so much better about it now. Okay, back to Harvard & Stone....
If you're not a fan of current music, or even hearing the same 5 songs in every club, lounge or bar, then you'll be pleased with Harvard & Stone. They play old school music. Songs from the 60s and shit. But it's fun to dance to and people really get down. I saw one guy dancing and the only way I can describe it is he danced exactly how I would imagine Harry Potter would dance if he had a few too many Butterbeers and really started to let loose. Glasses and Gryffindor polo shirt included. There is also a DJ every night at H&S. The DJ on the night we went was none other than Mr. Hyde himself. I'm talking about "That 70s Show" Hyde. I used to watch that show regularly, so it's just kind of cool to see someone like that right in front of you. Not in like a "OH MY GOD HYDE I LOVE YOU LET ME LICK YOUR FACE" kind of way. It's a little bit surreal to see him right in front of you. We didn't bother him or take a picture with him, because we really didn't care that much. The weird thing about LA is that "celebrities" or people who are well known, really don't get hassled at all. I mean, someone might ask them for a quick picture or something, but that's pretty much it. You might think that they'd have people following or stalking them, but that's not the case. I think it's because they are everywhere so it's not as exciting when it does happen. I also think a lot of people are afraid of looking uncool if they ask for a picture and that's just social suicide. Instead they tend to mingle around them, hoping to get a chance to talk with them for 3 minutes. When they do talk to them, they act like they just met the Queen of England or are best friends with President Obama and you should be very jealous of them. Because they are just so damn cool. These are the kind of people I want to hit in the face. Stop acting like you're the shit, ok? In reality you look like a lame, wannabe. Now me, on the other hand. If something happens to me, I don't give a rats ass if I look like a loser. If I'm excited, I'm telling everyone. When I met Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale at my work, I spent the rest of the night running around freaking out like I've just been selected to play Plinko on The Price Is Right....and won. Sometimes I even cry. I see nothing wrong with having emotions and expressing them. I'd rather be a human than a Hollywood robot.
We went to the bar and each ordered a Long Island. We decided since the drink prices were pretty steep, we better make it count. We're not made of money you know. I almost had a mini heart attack when the bartender brought us our drinks and said "That will be 48 dollars." I looked at my friend and said "I know we did not each order a drink that is $24. He can take that shit back, I am not paying for that." The music is super loud at H&S so I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly. I looked at the bartender and said "$48?" He said, "No, $28." I was still hyperventilating a bit from the $48 incident and said "$28 each?!" He leaned in closer and said, "No. $28 total, $14 each." I breathed a sigh of relief and looked at my friend, who was also uneasy about the situation and told her it was $14 each, which is slightly annoying for a stupid drink. I was elated I didn't order a $24 drink so we paid the man and left. As we left this cute blonde guy asked my friend "What is that?" and pointed to her drink. She leaned in and said "It's a Long Island." He said "Did you just whisper at me?" We laughed and walked away. Oh and it turns out that cute blonde guy is the same guy who played the oldest brother on Malcolm In The Middle. When texting a friend later, she informed me that he and Hyde are brothers in real life. I can't remember their real names. Hang on...Danny and Chris Masterson. God Bless Google. Moving on.
We walked around and laughed the at the fact that the place was crawling with hipsters. I had never been there so I decided to play it safe with my outfit, wearing a black sheer tank top, skinny jeans and boots. My friend also wore all black. We did not plan this, I swear. (When we were walking in she said "I hope people don't look at us weird, because we're matching." I reassured her, "Don't worry. We'll just tell them we came straight from a funeral." "Yeah, we're just blowing off some steam throwing 'em back" she said. That's our story and we're sticking to it. Who said blondes aren't smart.) I was just happy we didn't stick out like 2 blonde Barbie's. Of course the hipsters took it to the extreme with their outfits, which we made fun of the entire night. I fucking live for that shit. After realizing there was no escaping the hipsters, my friend says with a mischievous look on her face "Let's find the most hipster person in this bar and take a picture with him!" "OH HELL YES!" I exclaimed excitedly. You can see why we are such good friends. We scoured all the rooms until we found "the one." Neither of us had to say a thing. We just knew. He was the epitome of a hipster. He may have even been the founder. A guy standing nearby started talking to us and we told him our game, and how we had just found the winner. He laughed and said, "I'll go get him." He brings Mr. Hipster over to us. "I like your hat!" I blurt out, because I didn't want him to feel awkward, but I'm pretty sure I just made the situation worse. I tend to do that. I can't help it, I'm Gilly. (Note: My friend told me I remind her of Gilly from SNL. They way I dance, move and often act. After fighting it, I have come to terms with it, because she's right. I had a Gilly moment earlier that night when I took a sip of my Long Island and damn near choked and spit it out because it's was so potent. If you know Gilly, imagine her taking a sip of tequila for the first time, then imagine what her face would look like and I give you my face.) Anyways, we took our picture with King Hipster, thanked him and ran away. We later went back to the bar and were debating on what to order. Then I felt a strong presence to the right of me. I look and see a group of guys. My friend leans over and says "These nerds are prying hard." I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard. She was right. They were closing in. Then they attached themselves to us, without asking permission. Not physically, but they may as well have. They kindly bought us a drink then we noticed we all noticed this guy directly across the bar from us. One of the nerds, I mean guys said, "You guys, that's the kid from The Sandlot!" "I KNEW IT!" I screamed. I had saw this chubby, redheaded kid earlier and knew I'd seen him in a couple movies but couldn't for the life of me figure out which one. Which is embarrassing because "The Sandlot" was one of my favorite movies as a child. I own it on DVD to this day. Amateur move Colleen. "We are totally getting a picture with him! Let's go!" I grab my friend and we walk towards him. One of the guys followed and offered to take our picture. "Perfect" I thought. "We don't have to do anything. We will stand here, the guy will ask the red headed kid if we can take a picture with him. We don't have to do shit. I like this." And that is exactly what happened. The redheaded kid AKA "Ham" or "Hamilton" in the movie, said he'd take a picture with us. He walked over to us, we took our picture, said thank you then ran away. "Why was he wearing a backpack?" I asked my friend. We came up empty handed with reasons why anyone would bring or wear a backpack to a bar. It's probably some weird actor thing.
We talked to the nerd-my bad, the guys- some more. Then one of them asks me, "So do you guys want to go to Jumbo's with us?" "Jumbo's Clown Room?!" I yelled. "Yeah! We're heading over there, you should come with us." I sternly told him "Jumbo's Clown Room is the worst. It is the lowest of all the strip clubs. I once witnessed a larger Gothic girl do unmentionable things to her glove, with a ball gag in her mouth, all the while not taking her eyes off my friend. It was incredibly uncomfortable. That was the first and the last time I will ever step foot in Jumbo's Clown Room." Even after this reasonable explanation, this guy did not understand why 2 normal girls didn't want to go to a dirty strip club. [I feel the need to say the first (and only time) I went to Jumbo's was with 3 of my best friends for a girls night out. I was extremely curious - don't act like you wouldn't want to find out what the hell goes on in a place called JUMBO'S CLOWN ROOM. Curiosity definitely killed this cat.] To all the guys of the world: If you're trying to impress girls or a girl, do not invite them to a grungy, dirty-ass strip club. I would be more inclined to hang out with someone again if they invited me to McDonald's. Fries are the way to my heart. I can tell you that I will indeed be going back to Harvard & Stone. It's the kind of place great stories are made of. In closing, I'd like to share with you a few things I learned that night: 1) I will never go into a single bar from now on, without playing "Who's the most hipster of them all?" My life is forever changed. 2) If you see someone you feel the urge to take a picture with them, in my case Ham, do it. Don't worry about what da hipsters think about you. 3) Never ever accept an invitation from a stranger to Jumbo's Clown Room. You know what, just never go to Jumbo's Clown Room.
Winner of "Find the most hipster person in the bar and take a picture with him." Even his facial expression & the look in his eye is hipster.
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