I don’t know if any of you have ever attended a performance at Jimmy Kimmel so I’ll briefly sum it up. When they have really popular guests come on (like Taylor Swift, One Direction, Justin Timberlake and Paul McCartney to name a few) they will literally SHUT DOWN HOLLYWOOD BLVD which is a mix between a cluster fuck and an absolute nightmare. That’s the only way I can accurately explain it. It’s even worse when it’s the biggest boy band in the entire world and there’s over 6,000 hormonal, overly emotional females all trying to get a glimpse of the boys. And no, I’m not judging them. Does a little band named Hanson ring a bell? I used to straight up sleep on the street 24 hours before they performed just to be as close to them as possible. So believe me, I’ve been there. I’m just too old for that shit now. My body literally cannot handle it. I’m a 28 year old spinster.
Anyways, I was in Hollywood for an interview when my friend texted me saying she had been in line since 3AM and then they got word that apparently the line that they had camped out in was not the right line and they wouldn’t let anyone in that line through. I told her I’d come by as I was right down the street and see what’s up. When I got there, I was floored. It was 11:30AM and there were literally 2,000 girls (at least) in line. One Direction didn’t come on until 6:30pm. And like I said, most of them had spent the night there. Anyways, long story short, they gave the official word that their line was no good, I believe the people running the show used the term “scatter” which sent 2,000+ girls into a fracking frenzy. I’m surprised they didn’t start a riot. Well, actually I heard that things got pretty bad and almost to that point. But I, being a sensible adult, got the hell out of there the second I saw girls trampling over each other. I also so two moms get in fight behind a Taco truck and that’s when I knew shit had hit the fan. I called my friend on the way home and said “I’m too old for this shit.” And I am. This is exactly why I no longer sleep on sidewalks, for anyone. I just don’t love anything or anyone that much.
Flash forward to 4 hours later, my bff and I show up for the show. It just so happens that mah bff used to work for the company that was in charge of putting on the One Direction concert for Jimmy Kimmel so we knew a lot of people there that night. So one of our friends said “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of your girls.” 10 minutes later he says “follow me” and opens the gate and puts us in line, with only 20 girls ahead of us. These are the girls that had camped out all night to see the boys. In that very moment, I heard someone call my name. I turned my head to find it was my other friend, the one who had gotten in line at 3AM. All I know is sometimes timing is perfect and everything falls into place. I will say, we did get quite a few death stares from pretty much every other girl in line, as they had slept on the dirty ass streets of Hollywood all night to be up close to the boys and my bff and I just waltzed right in and were escorted to the front of the line. I didn’t mind it. We deserved this. I felt no remorse. I was also excited that me and all my friends were gonna be able to watch the show together. Little did I know how damn close to the stage we’d be. I thought we might have a somewhat decent view, but I was not expecting what was about to come.
The next thing I know, they release the girls into the stage area. I can only describe this as a bunch of lions running, jumping over each other and attacking one another. These girls gave zero fucks about safety. It was ruthless. I grabbed my BFF and followed my other friends and next thing I knew, there we were. Smack dab in the middle of the stage, IN THE SECOND ROW. I could not believe my eyes. I literally sat there in disbelief. I don’t think I blinked for a good solid minute. I just stared at the stage taking in what had just happened.
Then, after an hour and half of standing and waiting IT HAPPENED. My beloved boys walked on the stage. And I kid you not, Sir Harry Styles was GLOWING like some kind of angel. Light literally shines out of his ass. I have the picture to prove it, compliments of my bff who took this photo, while I was too busy staring at his ass. Not that I expected anything less from him, it’s still an out of body experience to see it right in front of you. I don’t even care that he was dressed like a 70 year old retiree. When you’re Harry Styles, you can wear, do and say whatever you want. He can really do no wrong. Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration, but I think you get my point.
SIDE NOTE: It’s not just me who thinks this way. A couple weeks ago I was hanging out with my friend and his boyfriend. And his boyfriend told me that a few months back Harry Styles came into his work. He said something along the lines of “I never found Harry Styles super attractive, but when he came into my work and he was standing right in front of me, I couldn’t look away. He’s just incredibly handsome, and I totally got it. I understood why everyone loves him so much. And he is seriously one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.” (FACT: anyone who has ever met Harry Styles says the same thing about him being incredibly nice: from fans, to limo drivers, random people on the street, anyone who’s served him at a restaurant, or he came into their work. I kid you not. Google it.) Then he goes “But the girl he was with was a real bitch.” I laughed and said “Okay, so there’s his one flaw. He likes bitches. And if that’s what he likes, I’ll act like a straight up bitch. If that’s what it takes, I will do it. Because that is what you do when you love someone.”
But back to the boys…standing just inches away from me. I can’t explain what I was thinking, feeling and experiencing because it was just a cluster of emotions all at once. But I can tell you one thing: I was in this weird thankful disbelief mesmerized state that it was actually happening. Never in a million years did I ever think I’d get to be so close to them, let alone while they performed! It all happened incredibly fast, yet at the same time it felt like it was happening in slow motion. Again, I can’t explain it perfectly unless you are a grown ass 28 year old woman whose heart will forever contain a tiny part of a 13 year old girl. That will never change. But it’s been tamed over the years. I mean I’m not screaming and crying like I used to when I saw Hanson at ages 10-13. Okay, well, sometimes I still cry at a Hanson concert, but it’s for different reason. Their music speaks to me, it’s gotten me through some of the roughest times in my life, and we have a 18 year long history together. Totes different than the teeny bopper inside of me that gets excited when she sees One Direction. Plus there was no crying or screaming. As previously stated, I was in a trance like state, trying to take it all in. One of my best friends and I went to see One Direction in July. We drove to San Diego because they decided they were going to play unique venues all over the U.S. They couldn’t just play at the Staples Center like a normal band. Noooooo. But that’s a different story. But we went and had the time of our lives! And our seats were not even that close. They weren’t terrible seats, they were decent, but we weren’t on the floor, and having a chance to make eye contact with any of the boys was out of the question. But it didn’t matter. We danced, sang at the top of our lungs, and acted like insane lunatics, and didn’t give a single shit how crazy we looked. We were having the best night of our lives. I joked after the show and told everyone “If you wanna see 2 grown ass woman act a damn fool, take away their responsibilities for an entire night and set them loose, unsupervised, at a One Direction concert.”
So you can imagine how in shock I was to be inches away from them performing on Hollywood Blvd (a place I hold dear to my heart, as I lived on Hollywood Blvd for a year and a half when I first moved to LA), FOR FREE, we didn’t have to wait in line, and the best part of it all is I ALMOST DIDN’T GO! I mentioned in my previous blog that last few months have been a bit of a shit storm to say the least. I had a couple of job interviews the day of the 1D show, and I wasn’t sure if I felt like going through all the hassle of driving to Hollywood, parking, dealing with 6,000+ girls screaming, knowing the boys were only going to sing 4 songs and we would be so far back we wouldn’t really be able to see them. I literally called my mom the day before and explained all this to her. My mind was set on not going. WTF COLLEEN?!?! I DON’T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I ALMOST DIDN’T GO. HAD SARAH AND I NOT MADE THAT LAST MINUTE DECISION TO GO, I WOULD HAVE MISSED OUT ON ONE OF THE FUNNEST NIGHTS OF MAH LYFE.
Not only that, it was much needed. Again, refer to previous blog post for full deets, but I’ve been going through a lot. And I needed a fun, happy, carefree night out with one of my best friends, watching one of my favorite bands…which are pretty much no longer going to be a band after this. They claim they are taking a “break” or a “hiatus.” But ‘NSYNC also said the same exact thing, and we all know how that turned out….So this could very well have been the last time I got to see them perform, and what a way to go. But back to what I was just saying. Sometimes when life kicks you in the ass in multiple ways all at once, it’s so easy to want to stay down. Or even just stay at home and not go out. I for one am glad I fought that overwhelming feeling to stay home that night. It never ceases to amaze me how perfect God’s timing is for everything. I truly believe He blesses you with certain situations He knows exactly what will make you happy, when you’re going through some terrible crap. It’s like His way of saying “I’m still here, and I love you.” I believe He does this for everyone, just in different ways. For you, maybe it’s going to see your favorite football team play, or you get a surprise gift in the mail, or a book or album you’ve waited years for gets released, or you get the opportunity to do something you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the means to do it. Whatever that special thing is for you, whether big or small, it doesn’t matter. For me, obviously my thing was being in the second row watching One Direction do one of their final performances. Because for that hour, every worry, fear, anxious thought, sadness, uncertainty, it all went away. I’m not saying it solved all those problems, but for that 1 hour I was the happiest 13 year old teeny bopper (in a 28 year old body) on the planet, singing and dancing with my best friend…..AND LOOKING AT HARRY EDWARD STYLES. Oh, and for the record the boys sang 6 songs, not 4 like the standard Jimmy Kimmel performance line up.
The next time you’re going through a difficult time and/or feeling really down (for days, weeks or months) and then something happens that is unexpected and just makes your heart incredibly happy, during a time you didn’t expect it, I challenge you to take a moment and be thankful for that blessing, no matter how significant or insignificant it may seem, because it happened for a reason. I promise. I’m pretty sure that’s all God’s doing. Not fate, luck, or a coincidence.
And you know what, even if you’re not going through anything hard, and life is going just great for you, I still challenge you to take a moment and be thankful for all the blessings and things you do have. It’s so easy to overlook how much we really do have. That’s something I am constantly working on every day.
In conclusion, I, Colleen Courtney Sullivan, am incredibly thankful for that 1 hour I got to be inches away from One Direction, and Harry Styles (obviously) and I’m thankful it happened on a day, no week that I really needed it. Thanks God.
Oh, and Harry, if you’re reading this, I want you to know, someday YOU.WILL.BE.MINE.
THE END….to the creepiest post ever.