This is a little tale I like to call #DontTextHim....Girl Power.
My friends decided to go to this "emo night" at a bar in Silver Lake. I know, I know. When you think of emo, you automatically think of me. We go hand and hand really. That's sarcasm if you didn't pick up on that. Anyways, we get to the emo bar and there is a line all the way down the street and wraps around the corner. "Nope." I boldly state. "I don't wait in lines." *After 30 seconds of silence and receiving blank stares from my friends, I backed up my previous statement my declaring. "I don't have time for that." It didn't take long for my friends to realize that I had a point, and that we were never getting in this bar and waiting outside would be a complete waste of time. (Sometimes I actually know what I'm talking about.)
We head over next door to a bar called "Little Joy." It wasn't very crowded which was fine by me. We walk in the door and then head into a smaller room down the hall. I take one look around the small, quiet room and say "This room sucks." a little too loud. "You should say that louder Colleen" my friend says to me. I start laughing because all too often I talk before I think and don't even recognize how fracking loud I can be. This is unfortunate when you are in a small confined space, with no music playing and offend every stranger in the room...which is what happened in that moment. I smiled, waved, and slowly backed out of the room as to not cause any more awkwardness for myself, and those around me.
We leave the lame room (as I named it) and headed back to the main part of the bar. There was a festive Christmas tree so naturally we took a bunch of pictures in front of it. Because that's what we do. Everyone orders their drinks. Halfway through my drink I yell "I need water." I blink and before my eyes are 2 ice cold glasses of water. So naturally I took 15 selfies of me drinking water. 'Cuz I'm about that water lyfe. I was documenting my responsible side. My water drinking side. After my impromptu Water World photo sesh, I have to go to the bathroom. "I have to go to the bathroom" I yell at the top of my lungs. I do this because I know my friends like to know my whereabouts at all times. Okay, that's not true. I do that because I talk out loud, to myself, all the time. And in case I go missing my friends will know my last destination. I like to stay 2 steps ahead of the game. Because I'm thinker.
Anyways, I head into the bathroom. And as I'm reapplying my bright as frack red lipstick (I really just want to be like Taylor Swift when it comes down to it) my friend walks in! "Heyyyyyy!" I scream, like we haven't seen each other in a year, when realistically it had only been a few minutes. Since we are both in the bathroom, we decide the next logical thing to do would be to sit on the floor and take a bunch of pictures. THAT'S WHY GIRLS GO TO THE BATHROOM IN GROUPS. Guys always wonder why we can't go to the bathroom alone. That's why. Mystery solved. You're welcome.
We are only 2 minutes into our bathroom floor photo session when we are joined by 2 more of our friends. I am elated. "Sit down now!" my friend and I yell simultaneously. Our other 2 friends do as they are told and the photo session continues. We start snapping away, but start having difficulty because there are now 4 of us, sitting on the bathroom floor, and my arms are not long enough to get us all in the frame. Which is odd, because I actually have extremely long arms. Like what is the point of having gangly Gumby arms if you can't get 4 of your friends in one picture? These are the challenges I'm faced with on a daily basis. A new blonde girl walks into the bathroom and takes pity on us. Here, give me your phone. I will take a picture of you guys. The 4 of us damn near burst into tears at her generosity. "Thank you!" "Oh my gosh, you are so pretty!" "That's so nice of you!" are a few of the things that are spewing out of our mouths all at the same time. Pretty blonde girl takes a picture of herself first (which we all cheered her on for it) cuz she was gorgeous and had a killer outfit. Then proceeds to snap some pics of us....sitting on the bathroom floor. She takes the pics and returns my phone to me. We scroll through the phone and all at once squeal, on cue. "OMGEEEEE that's the one! It's so good!" I then have a revelation "You guys, if we were in a band, this would be our album cover. We totally nailed it." We all agreed that this in fact is true, and proceed to gush over how hot and badass we all look. We have healthy levels of self-esteem and I don't see a damn thing wrong with that. After seven and a half minutes of bathroom floor, I repeat BATHROOM FLOOR pictures, we all agree it's best to get back to our guy friends we neglected.
We start to get up and as we're walking out a group of girls walk into the bathroom. I walk past them and as we're about to exit I hear one say "Should I text him?" I stop dead in my tracks, my eyes widen, I point one finger straight in the air, pivot turn on my heel, look her dead in the eyes and yell "DON'T TEXT HIM!" Keep in mind, I have never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am in this current moment.
They stare at me in shock. I continue on "BECAUSE HE'S AN ASSHOLE." I understand at this point I may have frightened them but they're still in the bathroom, so I continue to explain. "Listen, if you have to ask whether or not you should text a guy, the answer is no, because he's probably an asshole. Or you wouldn't be debating on whether to text him in the first place. Let me guess, he's gave you every indication that he's into you and he's said all the right things, then completely ignores you. Does that sound about right?" "YES," they all agree. They explain their current situation. I'll spare you the details, just know that my assumption was right. "But how did you know?" I'm asked. "Because I've been there. I've had one of those too, and it never works out in the end...that's why they're called assholes." I tell them. Since I'm on a roll, I decide to leave them with some words of wisdom, "Listen, at the very least, you deserve to have a guy that will fucking text you back. I deserve that. We all deserve that! Next time you start thinking about texting him just yell out '#DontTextHim' to yourself and be done with it." "Yeah you don't need 'em!" my bff Tammy joins in. Tammy is very wise (and tells me the same advice day after day.)
Later Tammy and I are discussing the bathroom incident. "You know, I don't think I've ever been to a single bar where there wasn't a girl crying over some douchebag in the bathroom. And sometimes that crying girl is me. Like the time that random girl found me crying, listening to Taylor Swift on my phone in the bathroom at El Chavo. Not my finest moment. But we totally bonded." I laugh recalling this night, as if it was yesterday.....
One night I'm out with my friends at El Chavo but find myself feeling extra down about a situation I was in. You'd think I'd be having fun, and carefree since I was out with my friends. Wrong. I was trying to pretend I was having a great time, but I just felt really shitty and the feeling kept creeping up on me. I tell my friends I'm going to the bathroom. This is where things get slightly ridiculous, but screw it, I'm just keeping it real. Next thing I know, I've locked myself in the bathroom and I'm listening to "All You Had To Do Was Stay" by the one and only Taylor Swift on my phone, and yep, I'm crying. I'm trying to be strong, but Taylor Swift makes me emotional. It's always a bit of a gamble with her. There's a 50/50 chance I may or may not cry. No one knows. Hell, I don't always know what's gonna happen. Anyways, I am now locked in the bathroom, telling myself to be strong, but it's not working cuz I'm crying all over my phone. I allow myself to cry for 3:13, which is the length of "All You Had To Do Was Stay" then I have to stop. I can be surprisingly strict with myself when I need to be. The song ends, I stop crying, but I'm not ready to go back out to my friends. But I also feel bad because I've locked myself in the only stall there is in the bathroom and that's not fair to people who actually need to use it. So I step out of the stall, and sit on a bench in the tiny lounge area in the bathroom. I decide to push repeat and play my favorite song again. Just then a girl enters the bathroom, and on her way out comes up to the mirror to fix her makeup and starts humming to the T-Swift song that's still blaring from my phone. I look at her in amazement. "You know this song?!" I ask mesmerized (as the album had only been out for less than a week at this point.) She looks at me and says "Oh yes I do girl! Track number 5!" she smiles. "Track number 5 is my song!" I excitedly yell. Then she says, "Mine too. Track number 5....and 6, 7, and 8" She instantly gives me a high-fives and says "I feel you girl" as she walks out. 'Did that really just happen?!' I ask myself. 'Because that was amazing!'
As I'm processing the amazing incident that had just happened, 3 new girls walk in. They have come to the bathroom to map out their game plan. "So wait, he's coming here now?!" one girl asks. "Yes." the other replies. "So what do I do when he gets here?!" she asks nervously. I turn down the volume on "All You Had To Do Was Stay" and take it upon myself to join their conversation. "I'll tell you what you're gonna do. You're gonna walk out of this bathroom with your friends and act like you're having the best night of your life. And then when we shows up, you're gonna ignore him. Then after about 10 minutes of ignoring him, you're going to casually say "Oh hey!! I didn't even know you were here!" and smile and laugh with your friends, like you don't have a care in the world." Instantly the girl says, "Yes! I like her and I like her plan. That's exactly what I'm going to do!" she says. Her friends all agree that it is the best plan of action. "How did you know what I should do" she asks me. "Not my first rodeo, girl. Honestly sometimes when I'm not sure what to do I just ask myself 'What would Taylor Swift do?'" They all start laughing. Though it is kind of funny, I'm being serious. I ask myself that all the time. "Okay, so now you know what to do. Go out there and ignore him." I tell her. "And if he's anything like what I'm picturing (which he is) he'll be freaking out wondering why you're not throwing yourself all over him." I explain. "I will! Thank you!" and like that they went on their way.
I take another minute or two, turn off Taylor Swift and pull myself together. I start smiling because I'm pretty sure Taylor Swift has some magical power over all females and somehow manages to bring females together for the better. I don't know how she does it, but I've seen it. Over and over. I'm also feeling less sad about my dumb ass situation, because I've just realized I am not the only one stressing out over some dude who really doesn't give two shits about me. Every girl does it. I see it time and time again. And what helps is talking to them and realizing we're all in the same boat more often than not. So instead of turning against each other, we can actually help each other, even if we're complete strangers.
Girls get a bad reputation for being catty and bitchy to each other for no reason at all. And believe me, sometimes that's true. But I've also found that sometimes the place you will feel most accepted is in the women's restroom and a random bar. The camaraderie between complete strangers that I've witnessed and even experienced myself, is mind blowing. It's a weirdly wonderful feeling to have a complete stranger walk into a room, look you in the eye and say "Hey, you're beautiful. And you deserve better than that." I've been on both ends of it and they're both just as satisfying.
LA is a crazy city, with a lot of crazy ass people. But if you look hard enough, you can find good, quality people. I have learned this recently. It's so easy to get caught up on why that guy isn't texting you back, or why that girl you were into is acting like a complete bitch. But instead of wasting your energy on why other people are assholes, sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at all the people who you're surrounded by who actually care about you. The ones who love you and would bend over backwards for you. The ones who you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not when you're with them. They love you regardless, because they love YOU. For who you are. I'm thankful for the people in my life (especially my girls) who have my back every damn day. The same ones who never roll their eyes when I continue to cry over the same damn thing, or person, or situation. The ones who are honest, and tell you the truth and just want you to be happy. So this one is for all muh gurls. I just hope you are able to find friends like I have. Male, female. Doesn't matter. Just surround yourself with people who have bright shining lights in a world of darkness. I have found that....and also found the ones who will have a Taylor Swift dance party with you in the bathroom. Because sometimes the best way to get over someone, or something is to shake it offffff. It's a real thing. Try it.
I now leave you with 101 ridiculous photos that were taken at Little Joy. It's a lot to take in, so brace yourself. Oh and also, my friends are better than yours.