Let's talk about LOADED, shall we? Loaded is, well quite frankly, a place I don't belong. But that's the beauty of it. I'll get to that later Loaded is a rock bar in the heart of Hollywood. I've walked past Loaded hundreds of times while out and about in Hollywood and every time I'd stop dead in my tracks, full of fear, and say a silently vow to myself "I will never step foot in there", then take off running before I made eye contact with anyone. See here's why it scared me, because everyone who goes there dresses in all black and leather (I wear pink and own a plethora of Taylor Swift apparel), the guys there wear more make up than me (which is intimidating, because when I go out I often wear a shit ton of make up) and they have longer hair than me. Well I chopped all my hair off, but I used to have really long hair, and their hair was still longer than mine. The Loaded crowed listens to metal bands I've never even heard of and am honestly a bit too scared to repeat....I listen to One Direction, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and of course Hanson. I am blonde....and let's just say there are a total of zero blondes in loaded. So if you add these all up, it makes for one scared blonde girl with the wardrobe of a 13 year old girl (and proud of it!)
One night my life changed, when my new bffs (and #WomenCrushAlways) Tammy and Sabrina invited me and my very cardboard boyfriend Harry Styles to hang out in Hollywood with them. I excitedly accepted and met up with them at Sabrina's place in Hollywood. Keep in mind this is the first time hanging out with them, and much like you would do on a first date, I really wanted to impress them! Friendships are a lot like dating in that way, especially in the very beginning. We're talking, going back and forth debating on where we should go that night. Finally the moment I've already dreaded was happening and there was nothing I could do to stop it. "So Colleen we're gonna go to Loaded tonight, are you cool with that?" they ask. Now if I'm being honest, the following moments that followed were a bit of a blur because I wanted nothing more than to grab cardboard Harry Styles and haul ass out of her apartment and never look back. "I'M GOING TO GET EATEN ALIVE." is all I could really think. But not wanting to blow my cover, I managed to spit out "Sure." with a smile. "This is it. This is how I'm going to die. Who's going to break it to my parents?!" is another thought that went over and over in my mind.
A fact you should probably know is that Tammy, Sabrina and I are all so different, but that's why we work. We do have a lot of similarities too. Tammy loves her metal and rock and roll but also has a soft spot and respect for people like Taylor Swift and Ke$ha (my queens) and the most important of all One Direction. That's basically what brought Tammy and I together. (But you can read my previous F.R.I.E.N.D.S. blog for that.) And Sabrina is the most fashionable, beautiful, warm hearted, funniest person you'll ever lay eyes on. I'm getting off track now, but basically Tammy and Sabrina = Life and I don't know what I'd do without them, ok?
So at this point, we're about to head out and I'm doing my very best not to cry because I don't want to go to Loaded. Tammy puts on some music to prepare us for our night out. She chooses "Story of My Life" by One Direction and all my worries instantly disappear. (That's the beauty of One Direction, for all you haters out there.) I am happy now and am able to walk out of the apartment and make my way to Loaded with a smile on my face, high on One Direction. We made one pit stop on the way. Tammy told me she bought a One Direction shirt at one of those Hollywood Souvenir shops on Hollywood Blvd. "TAKE ME THERE, NOW." I demanded. And she did. I figured if I'm gonna meet my untimely death tonight, I might as well go out in style in a One Direction shirt. Bought the most fetus One Direction shirt possible [NOTE: fetus=young or baby; for all you old people out there], which also happened to be the same exact shirt Tammy had bought a month or so prior. Shout out to the cashier who asked me if I was intoxicated when I was purchasing my beloved 1D shirt. Apparently, in his mind, the only way a 27 year old woman would actually buy such a shirt is if she was wasted. Joke was on him. I was clear headed when I bought that. So I put that One Direction shirt on and proudly strutted my stuff down Hollywood Blvd.
Before I know it, I'm face to face with my biggest fear: LOADED. Sabrina and Tammy practically drag me in with them. They are regulars at Loaded so they know everyone. Here's where things change though. They say hello to the bouncer, who is this big, tall bald dude covered from head to toe in black leather. They hug him and then say "This is our friend Colleen!" I politely extend my and to shake his, but before I know it I'm lifted off the ground and swept into his arms as he gives me a ginormous bear hug. "Nice to meet you Colleen! Welcome to Loaded!" Stunned, but pleasantly surprised I say "Nice to meet you too!" Suddenly all my fears were gone and I felt at ease and was able to enjoy myself. Sabrina and Tammy mingled and introduced me to all their friends. I even ran into one of my friends which made me a happy camper! [Shout out to Chazz for taking a picture with me in my One Direction shirt. He basically looks like my babysitter in the photo. That has nothing to do with him. It's all me. I can't help it that I have a young face, or a liking for One Direction child-sized tees.]
Suddenly Tammy stops and looks me dead in the eye and says "Colleen, there's a pole and no one is on it. I think you and your One Direction shirt need to go up there and give it a whirl." I don't even need to think about this. "Take my phone. I'm gonna need some pictures of this" and lift myself up to the pole. Now, I've got to say, there is nothing sexy about a blonde girl in her late 20s swinging around a pole, fully clothed with a One Direction shirt, she can barley squeeze into. But here's the thing: I don't care. I do what I want. I tried to make it as awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, including myself, and succeeded. I've provided pictures, because they explain it much better than I ever could. The best part about it is that no one cared! Everyone was laughing and thought it was the funniest thing. Believe me when I say, there is not a single other bar in Hollywood where you could get away with this. People would look at you like you have 3 heads. But not at Loaded. It was like acceptable behavior....IN A ONE DIRECTION SHIRT. Finding a place that allow such behavior is basically my dream come true.
A week ago I was bartending at work and was talking to a this girl. She was platinum blonde, had tattoos all over her body, piercing and was absolutely gorgeous. We're talking and she says "I'm a bartender, so I totally get what you have to deal with on a daily basis." I ask "Where do you work?" She says "At this rock bar in Hollywood called Loaded." I practically yell "You work at Loaded?! I go there all the time!" I tell her the story of my first visit there and how scared I was, and how I felt like I didn't fit in. She looks at me and says "But that's the beauty of Loaded. It's a place where all the misfits go and they're like a giant family. You don't have to fit in, and everyone will accept you. You can't find that anywhere else in Hollywood." And she was so right.
She reminded me of what I thought as we left Loaded that first night. I remember telling myself to never judge a book by its cover. You should always give something or someone a chance. Whether that's a place you would never go to, or talking to someone who you think you have nothing in common with. People will always surprise you, but you have to be open to it. And last but not least, if you're out somewhere and see a pole standing alone and have an urge to hop on it, do not fight that urge. Because if not, you might just pass up an opportunity to embarrass yourself in front of a room full of strangers....or make them laugh and actually respect you for showing up to a bar in a One Direction shirt.
One night my life changed, when my new bffs (and #WomenCrushAlways) Tammy and Sabrina invited me and my very cardboard boyfriend Harry Styles to hang out in Hollywood with them. I excitedly accepted and met up with them at Sabrina's place in Hollywood. Keep in mind this is the first time hanging out with them, and much like you would do on a first date, I really wanted to impress them! Friendships are a lot like dating in that way, especially in the very beginning. We're talking, going back and forth debating on where we should go that night. Finally the moment I've already dreaded was happening and there was nothing I could do to stop it. "So Colleen we're gonna go to Loaded tonight, are you cool with that?" they ask. Now if I'm being honest, the following moments that followed were a bit of a blur because I wanted nothing more than to grab cardboard Harry Styles and haul ass out of her apartment and never look back. "I'M GOING TO GET EATEN ALIVE." is all I could really think. But not wanting to blow my cover, I managed to spit out "Sure." with a smile. "This is it. This is how I'm going to die. Who's going to break it to my parents?!" is another thought that went over and over in my mind.
A fact you should probably know is that Tammy, Sabrina and I are all so different, but that's why we work. We do have a lot of similarities too. Tammy loves her metal and rock and roll but also has a soft spot and respect for people like Taylor Swift and Ke$ha (my queens) and the most important of all One Direction. That's basically what brought Tammy and I together. (But you can read my previous F.R.I.E.N.D.S. blog for that.) And Sabrina is the most fashionable, beautiful, warm hearted, funniest person you'll ever lay eyes on. I'm getting off track now, but basically Tammy and Sabrina = Life and I don't know what I'd do without them, ok?
So at this point, we're about to head out and I'm doing my very best not to cry because I don't want to go to Loaded. Tammy puts on some music to prepare us for our night out. She chooses "Story of My Life" by One Direction and all my worries instantly disappear. (That's the beauty of One Direction, for all you haters out there.) I am happy now and am able to walk out of the apartment and make my way to Loaded with a smile on my face, high on One Direction. We made one pit stop on the way. Tammy told me she bought a One Direction shirt at one of those Hollywood Souvenir shops on Hollywood Blvd. "TAKE ME THERE, NOW." I demanded. And she did. I figured if I'm gonna meet my untimely death tonight, I might as well go out in style in a One Direction shirt. Bought the most fetus One Direction shirt possible [NOTE: fetus=young or baby; for all you old people out there], which also happened to be the same exact shirt Tammy had bought a month or so prior. Shout out to the cashier who asked me if I was intoxicated when I was purchasing my beloved 1D shirt. Apparently, in his mind, the only way a 27 year old woman would actually buy such a shirt is if she was wasted. Joke was on him. I was clear headed when I bought that. So I put that One Direction shirt on and proudly strutted my stuff down Hollywood Blvd.
Before I know it, I'm face to face with my biggest fear: LOADED. Sabrina and Tammy practically drag me in with them. They are regulars at Loaded so they know everyone. Here's where things change though. They say hello to the bouncer, who is this big, tall bald dude covered from head to toe in black leather. They hug him and then say "This is our friend Colleen!" I politely extend my and to shake his, but before I know it I'm lifted off the ground and swept into his arms as he gives me a ginormous bear hug. "Nice to meet you Colleen! Welcome to Loaded!" Stunned, but pleasantly surprised I say "Nice to meet you too!" Suddenly all my fears were gone and I felt at ease and was able to enjoy myself. Sabrina and Tammy mingled and introduced me to all their friends. I even ran into one of my friends which made me a happy camper! [Shout out to Chazz for taking a picture with me in my One Direction shirt. He basically looks like my babysitter in the photo. That has nothing to do with him. It's all me. I can't help it that I have a young face, or a liking for One Direction child-sized tees.]
Suddenly Tammy stops and looks me dead in the eye and says "Colleen, there's a pole and no one is on it. I think you and your One Direction shirt need to go up there and give it a whirl." I don't even need to think about this. "Take my phone. I'm gonna need some pictures of this" and lift myself up to the pole. Now, I've got to say, there is nothing sexy about a blonde girl in her late 20s swinging around a pole, fully clothed with a One Direction shirt, she can barley squeeze into. But here's the thing: I don't care. I do what I want. I tried to make it as awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, including myself, and succeeded. I've provided pictures, because they explain it much better than I ever could. The best part about it is that no one cared! Everyone was laughing and thought it was the funniest thing. Believe me when I say, there is not a single other bar in Hollywood where you could get away with this. People would look at you like you have 3 heads. But not at Loaded. It was like acceptable behavior....IN A ONE DIRECTION SHIRT. Finding a place that allow such behavior is basically my dream come true.
A week ago I was bartending at work and was talking to a this girl. She was platinum blonde, had tattoos all over her body, piercing and was absolutely gorgeous. We're talking and she says "I'm a bartender, so I totally get what you have to deal with on a daily basis." I ask "Where do you work?" She says "At this rock bar in Hollywood called Loaded." I practically yell "You work at Loaded?! I go there all the time!" I tell her the story of my first visit there and how scared I was, and how I felt like I didn't fit in. She looks at me and says "But that's the beauty of Loaded. It's a place where all the misfits go and they're like a giant family. You don't have to fit in, and everyone will accept you. You can't find that anywhere else in Hollywood." And she was so right.
She reminded me of what I thought as we left Loaded that first night. I remember telling myself to never judge a book by its cover. You should always give something or someone a chance. Whether that's a place you would never go to, or talking to someone who you think you have nothing in common with. People will always surprise you, but you have to be open to it. And last but not least, if you're out somewhere and see a pole standing alone and have an urge to hop on it, do not fight that urge. Because if not, you might just pass up an opportunity to embarrass yourself in front of a room full of strangers....or make them laugh and actually respect you for showing up to a bar in a One Direction shirt.